Why Do You Let Bad Things Happen?
by TwistedLemons
Summary: What was Kevin's first impression of Arnold? How did Arnold and Naba actually get together? What happened between Connor and Kevin? Basically, my interpretation of what the characters were thinking during the events of the show, and everything that happened between those events. McPriceley, Arnalungi, possibly some Churchtarts. Rated M for swearing and references.
1. Chapter 1

"Elder Price! Your brother will be: Elder Cunningham!"

"That's ME! THAT'S ME! HELLO!"

Kevin Price stood rooted to the spot, his beaming, hopeful smile plastered across his face as he processed what had been said. His new mission companion rushed over to greet him and offered a large, sweaty palm. Kevin, ignored it. He stared in disbelief at the Mission President. He had worked SO GOSH DAMN HARD all for this moment, and he was paired with… well, this. Becoming aware of his new companion still eagerly stretching out an expectant hand, Kevin hurriedly shook it, wincing at the clamminess of the other Elder's palm. He quickly retracted it (with some force, Elder Cunningham gripped _HARD_ ), before wiping it on his crisp, white shirt. He'd ironed it himself this morning. He needed to look perfect today. But now that had all gone to waste. All hope was lost.

"And your mission location will be…"

Kevin snapped out of his trance. There was maybe a _tiny_ sliver of hope left. He'd forgotten all about the location! Heavenly Father _must_ have given him the location he'd prayed for. Elder Cunningham was merely an inconvenience. If Kevin was sent to Orlando, he could forget about the other Elder and do something incredible. He could change the world!

"Uganda!"

No. NO. Okay, _now_ all hope was lost. What could he accomplish in Uganda? Stuck with this... _imbecile_ Kevin decided was an appropriate term. Elder Cunningham was talking to the Mission President, but Kevin couldn't hear. Still smiling, he took a deep breath. _It's what Heavenly Father wants. He's done this for a reason. There_ must _be something he wants me to do in Uganda._ Kevin tried to convince himself why this had happened and that he could still change the world, but there really didn't seem to be any possible way. Upon hearing the words "Lion King", Kevin finally dropped his eternal smile, and turned to face his new companion. He tried to turn off his negative thoughts by picturing the beautiful sunsets he would see in Africa and the colourful wildlife. He could practically hear The Circle of Life playing in the background. Until his fantasy was interrupted by a heavy, sweaty palm being slammed onto his shoulder.

"Here that partner? We're going to AFRICA! We can sit by the water holes and talk about each other! I'll tell you about all my Star Wars merchandise, and you tell me about, I don't know, your vast collection of hair supplies."

He glanced up at Kevin's hair. _Gosh darn, he thought that his hair would look_ naturally _perfect_.

"We're gonna stay up ALL night 'cos it'll be like a sleepover! I've never had a sleep over before! Have you? I bet you've had _loads._ And we'll be together allnthe time but we won't ever get bored or annoyed by each other-"

 _Ha_

"-because best friends don't get annoyed at each other!"

"Wait, Elder, you do realise we're just mission companions right? We're not best friends. We'll just help each other out!" He flashed the other Elder one of his trademark smiles. Did he really think they would be _friends?_ There was no way that Kevin could be friends with this man.

"Right! Help each other out! Like best friends do!"

 _NO_. "Look, Elder, I'm going to go and use the bathroom okay? I need to clear my head. Today's just been so _exciting_ " He sarcastically pumped his fist. _It's like talking to a_ child. He needed to get away. He needed to process what he was hearing. He started to walk away.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Kevin jumped and hoped that the brief expression of annoyance flickered across his face quick enough for Elder Cunningham to not notice. _At least if he saw how irritated I am, he might get the message._ He inhaled and turned to see what his companion wanted _now_.

"That's the once place I can't follow you! Otherwise we have to stay together at ALL TIMES."

"Yes Elder, that's correct." _Thank Heavenly Father he knows that._

"Imagine how funny it would be if we had to stay together even then! Wouldn't that be awkward?"

"Yes Elder, that would be pretty awkward!" He faked a laugh. He had to sit on a plane for MULTIPLE HOURS with this. "Elder, I really need to go now, or there might be an accident and that really WOULD be awkward!" This was physically painful. It was like he was trying to talk to his little sister, Evie. He started speed walking away but Elder Cunningham STILL kept babbling. "Why don't you check the list of what we should pack for Uganda? Do some research! We don't know what the weather will be like." _HOT. The weather will be HOT._ ANYTHING to get this cretin to leave him alone.

Arnold watched his new companion as he walked away. Elder Price was talking to him like he was a five year old. Why did he hate him so much? Despite Price's constant fake smile, he really wasn't great at hiding his annoyance. Arnold had idolised him for so long, and now his idol looked at him like he was stupid. Couldn't Elder Price see how awkward and nervous Arnold was too? He KNEW it was a problem that he spoke whatever came into his mind. He KNEW it was a problem that he got verbal diarrhoea when he was nervous. He tried to make jokes. He tried to lighten the mood. He'd TRIED to make a FRIEND. And now he'd completely blown it.


	2. Chapter 2

"Bye guys! I'll miss you!" Kevin hugged his sister as she tried to cling onto his leg. His whole family and all the family friends had come to the airport to wish Kevin good luck and say goodbye. He felt slightly awkward as he hugged everybody. Despite how annoying his companion was, Kevin couldn't help feeling guilty. Elder Cunningham was not too far off. His Mother and Father were there but they weren't emotionally embracing him like all the people that had come to the airport with Kevin. His Father seemed to be giving him a cold pep talk with an expressionless face and his Mother merely stood there looking slightly disappointed.

Hearing Mr Cunningham mention Kevin's name, he freed himself from the mass of people hugging him. "I'll be straight back guys, okay?"

"We're all so proud of you Kevin!"

Kevin made his way over to the Cunninghams. He put on his charming smile and greeted Elder Cunningham's parents.

"Ah! Elder Price! We've heard so much about you!"

Arnold turned around to face Kevin. He looked ashamed and wasn't his usual, immensely annoying self.

"We were just telling Arnold here to keep his little… problem in check."

Little problem? It was going to be hard enough dealing with Elder Cunningham on a whole without him having a "little problem."

"What's the er… little problem?" He asked Mr Cunningham, maintaining his grin although mentally dragging his hands down his face and groaning.

Returning to his usual obnoxious self, Elder Cunningham belted "I LIE A LOT!"

"Yes. Arnold is a pathological liar." Stated the Elders father, casting his son a brief glare.

Well this was just great. Just great. "Well Elder, I guess I'll see you in a minute. I'd better go say goodbye to my family!" Kevin needed to stop the awkward encounter. As he walked back to the crowd of people, he overheard Mr Cunningham harshly telling his son to try and be more like Kevin. He felt a pang of guilt but it was pushed away by the warm embraces of his family as they dragged him in.

Kevin looked out of the window as he waited for the plane to take off. Elder Cunningham had wanted to sit there as he'd never been on a plane before but Kevin claimed he got motion sickness so he needed to sit in the window seat. That was a mistake. Maybe if the other Elder had had something to occupy him, he wouldn't be babbling on and on at the back of Kevin's mind. Kevin was trying to ignore the constant noise but it was impossible.

"So who's your favourite Star Wars character?"

Oh Heavenly Father, if he was going to be asked questions that meant he HAD to listen. "I've never actually seen a Star Wars film." That was true. He hadn't. His Mom didn't like all the violence so he hadn't been allowed to watch it.

"WHAT? Elder Price you NEED to watch a Star Wars film. What movies do you actually like then?"

Well that was a simple answer. "Disney."

"What like the ones with the Princesses in them and stuff? I always found them really boring. Like, they just kept singing and I could never actually sit through an entire Disney movie."

Wow. Above everything else, his companion didn't even like Disney. He thought EVERYONE liked Disney. Kevin had always loved Disney. When he was nine years old, his parents took him to Orlando and they went to Disney Land. He'd met Ariel, who was his favourite princess and he still had the picture up on his bedroom wall. That trip was the best thing that had ever happened to him. "Look, Elder, maybe we should both go over the mission rules." Kevin pulled out his copy and started reading it, memorising it until his companion got the message. He'd actually already memorised the rules. This mission was so important to him. It was his chance to do something incredible. Kevin would just have to shut Elder Cunningham out to do that.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry this chapter's so short! When stuff actually starts happening and all the Elder's arrive, they'll be longer. I just want to say** **thank you so much to all the people who've read this! I'd really appreciate it if you left a review telling me what you think. Also, tell me any ideas you have that you want to see in the future!**

Connor and his companion Elder Thomas were the first pair to arrive at their hut in Uganda. After all, he was the Leader of District 9. The hut was small and cramped, and smelt a little funny but Connor thought he could live here for two years pretty happily. Of course he needed to add a bit of colour to brighten up the place first, it was pretty much all brown. Connor had always imagined the mission life to be fairly relaxed. Out proselytizing all day, improving the lives of the locals, and having no time to think about… things. Connor had been looking forward to his mission since he was in the fifth grade. He could see no faults with going far, far away from his parents and the guilt he always felt around them. Going to a place where he knew almost nobody where he could make a fresh start. He hated living with his parents. It was obvious to him that they knew about his… issues. The way his Mom tensed up whenever he entered the room, fearing that this would be the day her son finally admitted that her fears were true. His Dad always looked at him with disappointment in his eyes. He had his sister Hope though. She always acted as if she wanted Connor to admit- admit what? He was perfectly fine!

"So Elder McKinley! What are you planning to do to spruce the place up?" Elder Thomas asked, breaking the silence as they stared around the kitchen. The two knew each other well from their training, and the Elder knew Connor well enough to read the expression on his face as he looked around the hut. "Hey, these cupboards look a little bare don't they?"

"I know what you're implying Elder. Poptarts aren't the most important thing for us to do right now. Do you really want the first thing we do on our mission to go and try and find somewhere that sells Poptarts?" Connor predicted the answer before the question had even left his mouth. "Okay, forget I said that." He didn't want to set his companion off on one of his 'Poptart rants'. "I promise, that once all the Elders have arrived, that tomorrow, if everybody thinks Poptarts are vital to our mission, we will go and try to find somewhere that sells them. But we aren't supposed to spend money on unnecessary things. It's in the mission rule book."

"But Poptarts _are_ necessary to our mission." Elder Thomas whined.

"How?" Asked Connor, immediately regretting the question.

"Because they're _Poptarts_."

"Wow, that's completely convinced me." Realising this would go on and on until he did something about it, Connor gave in. "Okay, _fine_ we'll go get some Poptarts. Or at least try and find somewhere that sells them. But we need to wait for the other Elders to get here. We have to make decisions as a team."

"Who were those men Baba?"

"Some fucking idiots who think that God will help out with all their fucking pathetic problems."

Earlier that day, Nabalungi had been asked by her father to escort two smartly dressed men into the largest hut in the village. They were Americans, and they'd told her that they were Mormons and had come to her village to spread the word of God.

"So like the people who came last year? Who said God would help us?"

"These ones say they're different. But they're all fucking idiots. God never helps us with any of our problems, which are much worse than getting a wrinkle in your fucking shirt. Take Matumbo and what he tried to do to that baby! Hasa Diga Ebowai."

"Well maybe these ones _are_ different. Maybe they can help."

Before her mother died, she had always told Nabalungi that she should keep on believing and hoping that one day, things would get better. Naba stuck to this. Just because everyone else in the village had given up, that didn't mean she had to. Nothing could possibly stay bad forever.


	4. Chapter 4

**So sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up! I've been busy with exams and I was in New York for a week (and American Starbucks is WAY better than English Starbucks!) Also, sorry Connor was a bit of an asshole in the previous chapter. Thanks for all your reviews so far and I really hope you leave some telling me what you think about this chapter! Thank you so much for reading!**

* * *

"Well, looks like we made it, huh?"

Elder Cunningham pulled a camera out of his rucksack and shoved it in Kevin' face.

"So what do you think of Uganda Elder?"

Kevin stepped back. Elder Cunningham really needed to learn what a 'personal bubble' was. In all honesty, Kevin hated Uganda from what he had seen so far. It was dusty, everything was orange and brown (his least favourite colours, I mean, who likes brown?) If sweat and depression was a place, this was it. It was so gosh darn hot, Kevin was worried it might actually melt his hair gel and ruin his perfection. He needed to look great, he was being filmed! He beamed at the camera and forced positivity into his voice:

"Well it's certainly different!"

The Elder turned the camera to his own face. Slightly peed off, Kevin ran his hand through his hair and crouched down to retrieve his emergency bottle of travel hair gel from his bag. But someone got there first. His bag was snatched from him and the contents was thrown rapidly onto the floor and at Kevin. A man was holding a gun to him and another man was rooting frantically through his bag. Was this some kind of security check? Elder Cunningham was panicking. The man holding a gun to Kevin turned on the screaming Elder who instantly shut up. Kevin reached for his clothes which were previously neatly folded, but they were snatched from him. The man zipped the bag up and started to drag it away. The other lowered his gun as he took Elder Cunningham's bag but pointed it at Kevin as he tried to reason with them.

"This is your tarrif to the General!" the man barked as they retreated with the bags.

Kevin had barely had time to process what had just happened before another man grabbed his arm. He jumped, thinking it was the same men come back to hurt them.

"Hello! My name is Mafala Hatimbi and I will show you to your building."

Oh, so this was their guide who they had been told to find. Thank Heavenly Father. Maybe he could help them.

"Excuse me Sir, those men just took our bags."

"Yes! You must be very careful around here. Come on!"

 _Heavenly Father_. Mafala lead the two Elders to the village…centre? Could you even call it that? The village inhabitants were solemnly dragging their feet around the place, carrying bundles of sticks and various other materials. There was a dead donkey lying in the middle of the path, caked in mud and rotting. Nobody seemed to care. Kevin still couldn't believe that in the first minute of their mission, they'd already had their bags stolen.

"Don't you think we should call the police or something about our bags?"

"The police!"

Mafala seemed to find this hilarious. Kevin was slightly offended.

"The police are in Kampala. A two day drive from here."

Kevin couldn't believe this. "But there was a lot of important stuff in those bags!"

"Oh well, Hasa Diga Ebowai." There was a murmur of agreement from the villagers.

"You're in Northern Uganda now. And in this part of Africa, we all have a saying- whenver something bad happens, we simply throw our hands to the sky and say Hasa Diga Ebowai!"

Apparently this saying made everything seem better. Kevin felt a pang of guilt when he realised he was complaining about having his suitcase stolen when the village was suffering from things like war and famine and aids. The young girls of the village get their… parts cut off?! People are dying in the streets? Kevin's problems were nothing compared to this. His bus was late? His hair was ruined? The plane was slightly crowded? However, Elder Cunningham seemed to be enjoying himself. He was joining in with the villagers chanting. The villagers began to dance and a baby was thrown at Kevin. He gasped and caught it in his arms, immediately checking to see if it was okay. He rocked it and patted its back. The villagers were right. This saying did cheer things up. He bounced and moved his head to the chanting of the villagers. Suddenly it dawned on him to ask what Hasa Diga Ebowai actually meant.

"Hmm. Well, Ebowai means God."

Maybe the villagers were asking God for help and guidance? Maybe converting these people wouldn't be so hard after all. They already looked to God to help them.

""Hasa Diga means 'fuck you!' So I guess in a way, it means fuck you, God!"

Kevin froze and stopped patting the baby.

"Wait, WHAT?!"

Elder Cunningham danced his way over to Kevin.

"Hasa Diga Ebowai! Come on partner, join in!"

Kevin frantically searched for the baby's mother to hand it back.

"Hasa Diga Ebowai! Hasa Diga Ebowai!"

Kevin carefully but quickly handed the baby back and rushed over to his companion, who was now doing his own dance solo. Kevin clapped his hands over his ears and gasped at some of the things the Ugandans were saying. "Elder, Elder no no no nononononono stop stop!" he waved his hands to get the Elders attention. He grabbed his arms and pulled Elder Cunningham to the side.

"Elder, you have to stop saying that! They- they're saying… they're saying 'eff you' to Heavenly Father!"

 _Oh no._ _How many times had he said it? 12, 13?!_ Arnold grabbed onto Elder Price's arm as he tried to get Mafala to stop saying it. Apparently, people have turned to ra- doing things… to babies?! 80% of the villagers have aids? Suddenly Mafala introduced his daughter. She was aids-free apparently. She was also very, very pretty. She seemed so happy. She waved at Arnold and his companion but before he could wave back, he was taken by Mafala and swung around. He saw Elder Price go to her and try and get her to be quite but she took his hands and started dancing with him. Elder Cunningham didn't have time to be jealous as him and the other Elder were swung into each other and fell onto the floor. Elder Price was still in a state of shock. Mafala's daughter reached out a hand to Arnold to help him up but before he took it, she was called away by her father.


End file.
